Bullying can affect a child’s school experience, performance, mental health, and even behavior at home. During the month of October, Nebraskans are encouraged to educate themselves on the signs and harmful effects that these actions can have on the children who experience bullying.
“Everybody deserves to feel safe and welcomed in their school and home environment,” said Tony Green, Interim Director of the Division of Behavioral Health at the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS). “By being observant and taking action to stop bullying, we can create safe spaces that allow our children to thrive both personally and academically”.
According to the American Psychological Association, bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. The individual being bullied typically has trouble defending him or herself and does nothing to “cause” the bullying. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words, subtle actions, or online interaction (cyberbullying). Often these attacks are outward and obvious, while other times they are hidden and can go unseen.
Things to look out for include:
- Pushing, shoving, pinching, hitting, damaging property, vandalizing locker or school supplies.
- Name calling, making fun of, making jokes at another’s expense, unwelcome teasing, spreading secrets.
- Starting rumors, excluding people from events or study groups.
- Using social media to intimidate, exclude, and spread private information, using texting, emails, or other applications to damage someone’s reputation.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), one in five students reported being bullied on school property in the last year, and 14% of public schools report that bullying happens at least once a week. The reports are highest in middle schools, followed by high schools, combined schools, and primary schools. Despite its prevalence, many instances of bullying and cyberbullying go unreported.
When children know what bullying is, they can identify it and feel more comfortable talking about bullying if it happens to them or others. Children need to know ways to safely stand up to bullying and know that it is OK to ask for help. A child who is bullied may show symptoms or behavioral changes in response. This typically includes increased symptoms of depression and anxiety, loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, or loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy.
We encourage parents to be attentive and ask your child questions if you notice any changes in demeanor. Really listen to what they have to say and coach them about how to react when it is happening. Communicate your support to them, but do not assume anything about the situation or seek retaliation.
Teachers and school administrators can also play an important role in stopping a bully and correcting their behavior. If a student is often seen alone at school or excluded from friendship groups, are changing their route to and from school, their grades drop, or they do not want to get on the bus, talk to the student and notify a parent with any concerns. Remember that a child who is being aggressive towards a peer is oftentimes dealing with difficult emotions that can have many different causes. Make sure the student knows that this behavior is unacceptable and that the bullying must immediately stop. Encourage the child to empathize with their peer or help them build that skill.
If you suspect your child is being bullied at school, work with your child’s teacher or administrators about what you know or have noticed. Be clear about what you want to discuss, focus on the facts, and discuss things that are affecting your child. If possible, bring a written record of what has happened including dates, times, who else witnessed it, or screenshots of cyberbullying.
If you are being bullied, understand that it is not your fault, you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you.
Get help now. Need to talk or get immediate help in a crisis? Help is available. If you or a loved one need assistance, please reach out to:
- The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline; call, text, or chat 988.
- Your faith-based leader, healthcare professional, or student health center on campus.
- Nebraska Family Helpline – Any question, any time. (888) 866-8660.
- Rural Response Hotline, (800) 464-0258.
- Disaster Distress Helpline: 1-800-985-5990 (oprime dos para Español) or text TalkWithUs to 66746.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 22522.
- National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4AChild (1-800-422-4453) or text 1-800-422-4453.
- National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).